Hells yeah!

In case you missed it, bloggers, podcasters, writers, exhibitionists and voyeurs from both coasts (and all places in between) converged on 1763 in Atlanta this weekend for Sex 2.0, the latest brainchild of Amber Rhea.

The admittedly “vanilla” joined swingers, poly, LGBT, BDSM, sex workers, body modification and gender dysphoria communities to wax on “the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality.” Sounds pithy? It was.

There were discussions, how-to’s, tips and demonstrations to appeal to anyone with an intelligent and progressive appreciation and practice of sex.

But honestly, there was so much awesomeness consumed between Friday and Sunday, us sex positive folks had a tricky time capturing it all. My computer refuses to read my camera’s Compact Flash card. No pics until I get that sorted out. Besides, our best stories are unbloggable. You just had to be there.

What I can share (subject to future editing):

• The ladies enjoyed a pole dancing party on Friday night (and have bruises to prove it).
• There’s nothing better than a keynote by Audacia Ray to set the proper tone.
• I completely agree with Rusty’s summation about the diversity and general comradery.
• Funkybrownchick and Rachel Kramer Bussel are my Laverne & Shirley.
• I danced onstage to Rick James’ “Bustin’ Out” at Clermont Lounge with Viviane, Match. and an extremely corseted Cunning Minx. Can you say the same?
• Chocolate Pink probably started as an innocent concept. But a bunch of pervs like us ran with it. Talk amongst yourselves.
• Wanna know how to become a sex blogger? Viviane gave a comprehensive session on starting and managing a sex blog.
• After the party, there’s the hotel lobby. And after the lobby, there’s a little shibari with Match and the crew.
• Favorite Tweet #1: “she’s got cellulite and bruises but her breasts aren’t bad.”
• Cupcake Bingo? Ask Ellie Lumpesse, Furry Girl, Melissa Gira, Amber Rhea, Cunning Minx, Kimberly Kline, SakuraSarashi, Funkybrownchick, and Rachel.
• I was fortunate enough to lead two sessions; Life after Manhunt with Joseph G. and Truth In Advertising: But Wait, There’s More! (session notes to follow. Maybe.)
• If you’re a 62-year old stripper who drives a 5-speed, it makes sense that one of your ass cheeks is toned and the other is flabby. Right? Listen to Match.
• I can haz Waffle House? Best when Smothered, Covered, Chunked, Diced, Peppered and Capped.
• Dick Roll trumps Rick Roll. Get into it.
• Melissa Gira made us act out the Sex Styles of the Internet Famous!
• I heard the Flesh & Fetish Ball was more swingtastic than fetish. True? False?
• I’ve totally underestimated Second Life. Color my mind blown.

I admit, Stuff White People Like makes me chuckle. Obviously, I’m not alone. With a crazy amount of comments and even a book deal, it’s no wonder the Internets have been swarmed by a bunch of Stuff People Like clones.

As the site gets more popular, comments like the following on their #88 Having Gay Friends post are to be expected:

My favorite part is “it’s a sizable subculture in the inner cities.” Oh, really? Sounds like somebody watched Paris Is Burning and now think they’re an expert on black, gay subculture. I’ll let you read what Damien wrote on your own.

P.S. I totally stole this “comment fail” concept from Amber.

Last week my Piscean, mini-horoscopes (sent to my phone daily via Verizon) were inspirational or in some other way, on point:

03/25/08: Attending to your needs should be your first order of business. Your primary impulse is always to help others.

This is especially true regarding relationships which is why my desire to be in one is tempered. I have a habit of giving everything I have: money, emotion, time, etc. I suppose with the right partner, this would be balanced. But my experience has been that others quickly get used to always having me available (reliable) and I get taken me for granted (advantaged of). At least that’s how I see it.

03/26/08: You may be given a chance to study with someone who is renowned for their expertise.

I’m not sure what this means. But I’m excited about it!

03/27/08: Somebody may not be keeping their promises. This is disappointing and inconvenient.

Hmm… This could apply to clients or friends. Maybe both. The added bonus to this horoscope is its worded in the same manner I speak. I describe situations as “disappointing” or “inconvenient” often when stronger adjectives would probably be more appropriate. My emotional scale doesn’t fluctuate much.

03/28/08: Pursuing a lifestyle that affords more freedom should be your first order of business.

Hells yeah! I’m tweaking a plan on the daily of making this a reality. My life isn’t terrible by any means. But it’s still not the life I want to be living (which is sort of the point, right?) Adding some financial stability has increased my options. Now, to leverage it.

03/29/08: Everybody wants you in their corner, and with good reason. You’ve never looked better.

I don’t know about looking better. But I certainly feel better than I have in awhile. Which probably means it shows on my face. Which probably means I do look better. Who knew?

03/30/08: You’re ahead of your time in so many ways. Maybe that’s why so many people seek out your company.

This is what I have been trying to convince certain knuckleheads. I have an inside track on the future. Stick with me, you’ll go places!

Wow! SXSWi 08 was incredible! I had a great time attending panels, hanging with old friends, making new ones, meeting internet famous folk, eating, and drinking. Did I mention drinking?

There was an awful lot of walking involved too. Yikes! The Interactive portion of SXSW took over the entire Austin Conference Center. Oh well, it’s not like I don’t need the exercise.

Most of the panels I attended were good. Some of the technical ones were below my expectations. I found myself thinking: “I already know that” too many times. This probably means I need to go to conventions or meetups that are more focused on a singular aspect of the web.

The Core Conversations concept got a bad rep early on. So I didn’t attend any of them. Something about not being able to sit or hear well if you didn’t get there early. Also, another friend of mine didn’t like the idea of sitting in a circle talking when we get better info using that format over lunch and dinner.

Two Suggestions for SXSWi 2009
I think it’s time to start rotating people on the panels. We can almost predict the presenters at this point. If a panel calls for more than three people, then at least one of those people should be on a SXSW panel for the first time. Pass the torch.

Also, regarding tech panels, can we get a rating on them (e.g., newbies, intermediate, guru). I understand presenters are aiming for a skill-set sweet spot. But it’s aggravating to attend a panel thinking I will learn something when I know the material just as well (if not better).

The List
I wish I had the time and energy to detail each day of the conference. But I barely had time to make it to 10:00am sessions! So, here’s my official SXSW List (subject to changes and additions as I remember them):

Favorite Things About SXSWi 08

• Meeting a bunch of great people
• Eating good food
• Feeling like part of a community

Least Favorite Things About SXSWi 08

• The weather in Austin was cold, windy and sometimes wet. Fail.
• The hiccuping wi-fi (well, after Sunday anyway)

Favorite Panels

• Battledecks II
• Where Are The Black Tech Bloggers?
• Sexual Privacy Online

Least Favorite Panels

• The Art of Self-Branding
• The Contextual Web
• Sponsored Panel: Responsible Web Design

Most Heartwarming Experience
Blacks in Technology Meetup with Jeffrey Bowman

Most Bizzare Experience
Riding in Irina Slutsky’s TechCab Confessions with Jason Toney (1:08:38 thru 00:57:30)

Most Annoying Experience
Watching Ms. Budget Fashionista lose her shit with George Kelly in front of folks ready to clock her train.

Most Overated Beverage (tie)

• Shiner Bock (I just don’t get it)
• Bulleit (I shiver just thinking about how it tastes)

Most Overated Event

• Keynote Interview with Mark Zuckerberg

Favorite Food

• Moonshine

Favorite Dinner Conversation

• The Clay Pit

Favorite Parties
As a rule I don’t stand in long lines to attend “big name” parties. Therefore, the frog design / SXSW Interactive Opening Party and Frrvrr Launch Party rocked because I walked right in (with a little VIP help).

Least Favorite Parties
I heard the Laptop Battle at AMODA was disappointing. My crew opted for pancakes at Magnolia instead.

Most Used Gadgets/Accessories

• Power Supply
• Clarence’s iPhone
• (Everyone else’s) Digital Camera (I have serious camera envy now)

Favorite Reveal

• ExpressionEngine 2.0 Preview

Things I Missed But Wished I Didn’t

• 10 Tips for Managing a Creative Environment
• 20×2 v. 8.0: “What’s the Difference?”
• FM 2.0: The Future of Internet Radio
• Fray Cafe 8
• How Piracy Will Save the Music Industry
• Pimp My Non Profit - Real Non-Profits Kicking Ass with Online Technology
• Respect!
• Roll Over Gutenberg, Tell McLuhan The News
• Social Networking and Your Brand
• SXSW Clicks: Web Designers
• The Heather Gold Show: Opting Out

Most Referenced Song In My Circle
“Touch My Body” by Mariah Carey

Most Overheard/twittered Phrases

• “______ rocked!”
• “Ballroom A?!”
• “Do you have a car?”
• “He’s drunk as hell.”
• “I gotta pee.”
• “I’m blowing off panels for the rest of the day.”
• “I’m drunk as hell.”
• “Free food at _____.”
• “Free liquor at _____.”
• “Long line at ______.”
• “My feet hurt.”
• “My back hurts.”
• “She’s drunk as hell.”
• “That sucked!”
• “What’s your twitter name?”
• “Where are we eating?”
• “Where is the _______ party?”

Most Referenced Non-Web Celebrities

• Amy Winehouse
• Britney Spears
• Justin Timberlake

Blissfully Reconnected
Baratunde, Cecily, Denise, George, Jason, Lanie, Lynne

ATL Crew Members
EJ & Tiffany

Met For The First Time

• Angela Benton
• Anika Myers Palm
• Anil Dash
• CC Stinson
• Chris Brogan
• Clarence Smith, Jr.
• Erica
• Ernie Hsiung
• Gillian
• Irina Slutsky
• Jonno
• Melissa Acedera
• Rannie Turingan
• Shaun Inman (and wife, Leslie Inman)
• Stephanie Sullivan
• Twanna
• Violet Blue
• (more when I find where I put business cards)

things that are broken
I would like to fix, except
nobody else cares

A consistent experience of being black in the South is that other black folks assume I’m Christian. I know it comes from a good place so I don’t normally trip on it. But sometimes it’s annoying to hear from someone I just met, “What church do you go to?”

So I lead them to the revelation that I am, instead, Buddhist. Most have no idea what that entails and then ask if Buddhists go to church. That’s when I have to admit that I should (in my opinion) sit with a sangha regularly but don’t often enough.

Although most Christians don’t attend church regularly, I’m concerned admitting my half-practice dilutes the validity of my faith in their eyes. When in reality, laziness and poor planning are the culprit (the same reason most Christians don’t attend church every Sunday).

I’m not beating myself up about it. But I am acknowledging that I need to be more committed in my learnings. I have so far to go. And I get regular affirmations that this path is the right one for me.

In my black Buddhist email group, a member shared her struggles with the notion that “we all are one” when society shows us differently (I could add an infinite number of identity associations that make this notion difficult for any minority to accept).

Her conflict is with the idea of “giving up” a part of herself (her blackness) to “assimilate” with Buddhism or the World. This is a familiar hurdle for many black Buddhists and even mirrors our experiences as African Americans climbing traditional (white) corporate ladders.

However, another group member offered some sound observations. A portion which is this:

I think one of the things that we forget about Buddhism is that we are also supposed to get in touch with our BUDDHA NATURE. our Buddha Nature is what is INSIDE of us - and not focus so much on the external.

If we really examine “our” external, we will find that “our” external is really made up of “other people’s opinions about who we are.” I think it’s these other people’s opinions of us that lead to low self-esteem. I doubt if any one is born with a low self-esteem - I believe it is a learned behavior.

We are told who we are by our parents, siblings, history, society, media, etc - and we never really learn from the start on how to love ourselves. We need to start to learn to love our Self or Buddha Nature on the inside and let that acceptance work it’s way to our outer form.

I really resonated with his response, especially the sentence “I doubt if any one is born with a low self-esteem - I believe it is a learned behavior.”

When I began to “let go” of what others anticipated, including how friends and ex-lovers perceive me, I could concentrate on what felt right for me. Without “their” baggage, I could more easily visualize myself in terms of a collective “us” (as in human being) and work toward a clearer path of enlightenment. As a result, my self-esteem improved and so did my life.

It’s a process, to be sure, all of this un-learning. Which is why I need to be better about the business of being Buddhist. And no, I didn’t sit with my sangha today.

I’ve always been a big fan of fashion (I had a subscription to W when I was 19). But I’m regularly impressed with how often Project Runway teaches me lessons about the creative process; lessons that extend beyond fashion.

In the episode “Even Designers Get The Blues”, the show’s contestants are challenged to deconstruct Levi’s 501 jeans to create new looks. Most of them did a great job. Even Ricky, who has somehow coasted through the competition, created an exceptional dress and even won the challenge.

As the judges gushed over his dress he started tearing up (which he does in nearly every episode). When Heidi Klum asked why he was so emotional, Ricky commented:

“This is like a rollercoaster. You don’t know where to go. You don’t know if you suck. If you don’ suck…”

Michael Kors interjected with:

“It doesn’t go away. It just doesn’t go away.”

Kors’ comment stuck to me. I never thought a designer with his success would say something like that. But I’m grateful he did. It helped me to understand that my doubts as a writer and designer are normal. Even if those doubts may never go away.

I’ve been putting off producing some sort of podcast for well over a year. I’m not sure what I was waiting for; the “perfect” hardware? software? collaborators?

In any case, I’ve decided to just do the damn thing and let it become whatever it becomes. This first one is a test I performed with Karsh, testing out recording conversations with Skype and Hot Recorder.

The audio levels aren’t great so clearly I have some things to learn about noise reduction, normalizing, frequency and the like. But at least got the damn thing done.

 

 Podcast: Working Out The Kinks [1:34m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

When you’re hanging around a bunch of techno wizards an social media geeks, certain things like the iPhone come up ad nauseum.

I like David Lynch’s take:

Sovo asked “a diverse group of gay Atlantans to gaze into their crystal balls and predict what lies ahead in 2008″. Here’s my gaze:

I think:
• A Democrat will win the presidential race, albeit narrowly and with unprecedented scandal and mudslinging.
• Minority LGBT communities (lesbian, African American, transgender, Latino, etc.) will rely less on mainstream media to report on their stories and take greater advantage of the web’s ability to connect and project their experiences via blogs, social networks, and community-driven news sites.

I hope:
• Britney Spears will pull it together.
• Despite differing racial, economic and gender makeup, Atlanta LGBT activists begin to collaborate to combat issues affecting and infecting us including racial tension, news coverage, religious righteousness and hate crimes.

My New Year’s resolution:
• I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions, but a primary goal is to complete my first novel and have it published in 2008.

Read the rest of the predictions and resolutions from everyone from Alexandria Martin, State Rep. Karla Drenner and Officer Darlene Harris to Ruby Redd, Rev. Kathi Martin, and Baton Bob.